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| Below are a list of Books, Support Groups, and Other Resources
of information to help people learn more on topics relating to funerals, advance planning
and grieving. We welcome your suggestions for additions to our lists. |
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| Books |
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| Sheenan Funeral Home maintains a small lending library for
families and the local community. They also have a good selection of pamphlets covering a
wide range of grieving situations. Here is a list of some of the books in the library: |
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| Can Mom Live Alone? |
| Practical Advice on Helping Parents Stay in Their Own Home |
| by Vivian F. Carlin, Ph.D., published by Lexington Books (out
of print) |
|
| Though the title specifies women, aging widowers are in the
same situation. Dr. Carlin, was formerly a supervisor in the NJ State Division on Aging.
She was involved in developing new programs such as "Elderly Home Conversion"
and Congregate Housing Services." Her advice covers everything one needs to know
about living at home, enhancing independence and includes dealing with financial issues. |
|
| A Child’s Parent Dies Studies in Childhood
Bereavement |
| by Erna Furman, published by Yale University Press |
|
| This is a very in-depth study of twenty-three children who
have suffered the death of a parent during their childhood. The book covers grief and
mourning, depression and apathy. Not light reading – but very informative. |
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| Concerning Death: A Practical Guide for the Living |
| Published by Beacon Press, edited by Earl Grollman |
|
| This book, written by number of people covers a wide range
of topics relating to death. From caring for a dying person, to funerals and methods of
disposition. They also discuss legal and financial issues as well as examining Catholic,
Protestant and Jewish view on death and how they mourn. |
|
| Dancing Against the Darkness - A Journey through
America in the Age of AIDS |
| by Steven Petrow, published by Lexington Books (out of
print) |
|
| This is the story of people with aids, their friends,
families and communities. Published in 1990, Petrow, a volunteer, consultant and staff
member at the San Francisco Aids Foundation since 1985 was told in 1986 that he had AIDS.
The diagnosis turned out to be wrong, and greatly increased his awareness of the many
people who will deal with AIDS. He deals with the human side, and the wide variety of
people who are infected as well as discussing the political side. |
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| Disenfranchised Grief Recognizing Hidden Sorrow |
| by Kenneth J. Doka, published by Lexington Books |
|
| Some people experience a loss and their grief may go
unrecognized by the people around them. They may be in a position where they cannoty
grieve or attend the funeral for a number of reasons. This book explores the many
circumstances that can give rise to disenfranchised grief. Doka writes on disenfranchised
relationships, loss and grief and provides a number of different professional
perspectives. |
|
| How to Survive the Loss of a Love |
| by Colgrove, Ph.D., Bloomfield, M.D. & McWilliams,
published by Prelude Press |
|
| Over 2 million copies in print, this book has been called
by some a true life-saver! Written by two counselors and a poet, this book is not a long
worded essay on survival. It contains short poems, words and sentences grouped in an order
which provides accurate insights, ideas and suggestions on surviving a loss. This is not a
book to be read cover to cover and put on a shelf, but to be referred to daily as the
reader learns to adapt and survive his or her loss. |
|
| Stillborn - The Invisible Death |
| by John DeFrain and others, published by Lexington Books |
|
| Based on the interviews of hundreds of mothers and fathers
this book covers from the initial shock to the eventual acceptance which parents
experience with a stillborn loss. The writers provide, insight and advice on dealing with
the loss for parents, friends and those who want to learn more. |
|
| Sudden Infant Death Enduring the loss |
| by Defrain, Ernst, Jakub and Taylor, published by Lexington
Books |
|
| While this book can not answer "why?" it does
answer many of the questions one may ask and offers insight on some of the questions that
are not raised. This book is not solely focused on the parents – it includes
grandparents and siblings as well. |
|
| The Gift of Significance Walking With People Through
a Grief |
| by Doug Manning, published by In-Sight Books, Inc. |
|
| Though everyone grieves in their own way, Manning pulls out
the common threads and shares his insights. He talks about death as a passage and the
rituals of dying and of grief. Caring and being understood are also important factors in
this easy to read book written in conversational style. |
|
| The Journey Through Grief Reflections on healing |
| by Alan D. Wolfelt Ph.D., published by companion press |
|
| Organized on what Wolfelt describes as six needs of all
mourners, he covers the spiritual needs as well as the physical and emotional needs. Alan
Wolfelt is a Grief Educator and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition in
Colorado. His writings appear in many nationwide publications and holds seminars on grief
topics through out the country. He is also one of the grief educators who are widely
referred to in many mortuary schools. |
|
| The Single Again Man |
| by Jane K. Burgess, published by Lexington Books (out of
print) |
|
| This book exposes the myths relating to the concept of the
widower as being a "newly single man" and talks about the reality of a
man’s dealing with the loss of a wife. |
|
| The Solitude of Loneliness |
| by John C. Woodward, published by Lexington Books (out
of print) |
|
| Not only is the author a professor in the Department of
Human Development and family, he understands the subject first hand having lost his wife
of over 15 years. This book covers loneliness from childhood through old age and for a
number of reasons including but far from only death. Suicide, divorce, physical
impairments and the factors associated with loneliness are covered. Coping and living with
loneliness, including the importance of pets are also discussed. |
|
| The Way We Die - An investigation of death, dying in
America |
| by David Dempsey, published by Macmillan Publishing Company
(out of print) |
|
| Written in 1975, this book discusses how people avoid
talking about death and how they handle a death when it occurs. Dempsey discusses the
"lost art of grieving and the illness that comes from not knowing how to mourn."
Violent death, life prolonged by medical technology are covered as well as advances being
made in making death more natural and dignified. |
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| Unspoken Grief: Coping With Childhood Sibling Loss |
| by Helen Rosen, published by Lexington Books (out of
print) |
|
| This book is about helping children deal with the loss of a
brother or sister. Often, people want to shield children from death and don’t fully
realize how much children can be affected by death. Sibling loss is not covered like many
other losses, yet, it is very important to help children to best deal with death when it
happens. |
|
| When Love Gets Tough The Nursing Home Decision |
| by Doug Manning, published by In-Sight Books, Inc. |
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| The book is in four parts: Making the decision –
Implementing the decision – Adjusting to the decision – Living with the
decision. Manning helps the reader understand the reasons behind the choice in order to
allow the decision to be made with less guilt and fear. |
|
| Other recommended books include: |
|
| Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man and
Life's Greatest Lesson |
| by Mitch Albom, published by Doubleday books |
|
| Former sociology professor Morrie Schwartz was diagnosed
with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, known as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease in 1994 at
the age of 77. Visited by a former student, Mitch Albom, Morrie talks a lot about life,
death and letting go. This extremely insightful book is a "must read" –
better yet, it should be listened to in the audio edition. The audio edition contains
sections of the taped interviews with Morrie, which goes beyond what one can get from
reading the book. |
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| Other books with Morrie Schwartz are: |
| Morrie In his own words with an introduction by Paul
Solomon, published by Doubleday |
|
| Letting Go Morrie’s Reflections on Living While
Dying, by Morrie Schwartz, published by Walker and Company |
|
| Living With Grief: Who We Are, How We Grieve |
| Edited by Kenneth J. Doka and Joyce D. Davidson, published
by Brunner/Mazel |
|
| This is a text which produced as a companion to the Hospice
Foundation of America's fifth annual National Bereavement Teleconference. It was written
for those who cope professionally with terminal illness, death, and the process of grief.
Not lite reading, this book provides great insight on ethnicity, culture, spirituality and
much more. For anyone wishing to learn more about who we are and how we grieve, this is an
excellent book to consider. |
|
| There are two very good authors worth noting. Alan Wolfelt
and Earl Grollman have both written a number of books dealing with death and grieving.
Their books are full of pertinent, useful information and both of them are required
reading in many schools of Mortuary Science. You will not go wrong if you chose any book
written by either of these authors. |
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| Support Groups |
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| There are many local resources available to those who feel
they need help in adjusting to a loss. Please contact the funeral home or your local
clergy to get the help that best suits your needs. Below are a number of national
organizations which offer help to survivors of certain types of losses. |
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| Twinless Twin Support Group www.fwi.com/twinless |
|
| International network founded in 1985. |
| Supports Parents as well as twins who have lost a twin or
multiple sibling. They assist in the set-up of local support groups, have videos available
and publish the "Twinless Times" and Twinsworld" magazines. |
Contact the Twinless Twin Support Group, c/o Dr. Raymond
Brandt
11220 St. Joe Road, Fort Wayne, IN
Phone – Fax |
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| Rainbows International www.rainbows.org |
|
| 7000 affiliated groups founded 1983. |
| Establishes peer support groups in churches, schools or
social agencies for children and adults who are grieving a death, divorce or other painful
transition in their family. |
| They provide an on-line newsletter, information and
referrals. |
Contact the RAINBOWS
2100 Golf Road, #370, Rolling Meadows, IL
Phone – Fax |
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| National Donor Family Council www.kidney.org |
|
| 52 affiliated groups, founded in 1991. |
| Provides mutual support for families who have donated
tissues or organs from a loved one who died. They offer literature, programs, local
resources, newsletter and more. |
Contact NDFC c/o National Kidney Foundation
30E. 33rd Street, New York, New York 10016
Phone – Fax |
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| Wings of Light Inc. www.wingsoflight.org |
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| Has 3 support networks, founded in 1995. |
| Provides a support and information network for individuals
whose lives have been affected by aviation accidents. They help survivor’s families
and friends, airline crew members and rescue workers. |
Contact Wings of Light, Inc., PMB 448
16845 North 29th Ave, Suite 1, Phoenix, AZ 85053
Phone |
|
| Motherless Daughters, Inc. www.dfwnet.com/md |
|
| 65 affiliated groups, founded in 1995. |
| Provides information, referrals and support for women and
girls who have experienced an early mother loss. |
Contact Motherless Daughters, Inc.
Prince Street Station, Box 663, New York, New York 10012
Phone – Fax |
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| Motherloss * Online www.win.bright.net/~cnelson/links.htm |
|
| Founded in 1996, supports adult children who have lost
their mothers to death. Helps with grieving issues and offers other links. |
|
| M.I.S.S. Foundation www.misschildren.org |
|
| Places for parents to share their grief after the death of
a child, read poetry, locate local support groups and plan a goodbye ceremony. MISS is a
nonprofit, volunteer based organization committed to providing emergency support to
parents after the death of their baby; stillbirth, neonatal death, premature birth,
congenital anomalies, SIDS, and any child's death. This is a web-based place for support
– we saw no telephone number or mailing address to aid those without Internet access. |
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| WidowNet www.fortnet.org/WidowNet |
|
| This web-site that helps individuals with the loss of a
spouse find a local support group and provides online e-mail lists and chat lines for
grief support. Widow Net is an information and self-help resource for and by, widows and
widowers. Topics covered include grief, bereavement, recovery, and other information
helpful to people, of all ages, religious backgrounds and sexual orientations, who have
suffered the death of a spouse or life partner. This is a web-based place for support
– we saw no telephone number or mailing address to aid those without Internet access. |
|
| The Center for Family Caregivers of Aging Relatives www.caregiving.com |
|
| A web-site providing support and information for those
caring for aging parents or other relatives. This is a web-based place for support –
we saw no telephone number or mailing address to aid those without Internet access. |
|
| Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, Inc. www.taps.org |
|
| A national non-profit organization made up of, and
providing services to, all those who have lost a loved one while serving in the Armed
Forces. The heart of "TAPS" is their national military survivor peer support
network. |
| They also offer grief counseling referral, case worker
assistance and crisis information, all available to help families and military personnel
cope and recover. These services are offered 24 hours a day free of charge! |
| For more information call: 1-800-959-TAPS (8277) |
|
| Car Accident Family Web-site www.stresspress.com/newmain.htm |
|
| The Car Accident Foundation gathers and shares lessons and
wisdom from thousands of families who have suffered accidents and losses over the years
and makes that learning available to families now recovering from an accident. |
Contact The Car Accident Foundation Inc.
203 Washington Street, Suite # 313, Salem, MA
Toll Free , Voice , Fax |
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| MEND (Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death) www.mend.org |
|
| M.E.N.D. is a Christian not-for-profit corporation whose
purpose is to reach out to those who have lost a child due to miscarriage, stillbirth or
early infant death and offer a way to share experiences and information through support
groups, the bi-monthly newsletter, and their Internet web site. |
| They can be contacted at M.E.N.D., P.O. Box 1007, Coppell,
TX 75019 |
| Phone |
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| Pen-Parents Inc. www.penparents.org |
|
| Pen-Parents is a specially designed support network of
grieving parents who have experienced pregnancy loss or the death of a child(ren) through
adulthood. They provide an opportunity for bereaved parents to talk about their child(ren)
through a pen-pal type service by networking them with others in similar situations. |
Contact them at Pen-Parents, Inc.
P.O. Box 8738, Reno, NV
Phone
Fax |
|
| Share – Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Inc.
www.nationalshareoffice.com |
|
U Prince . learn english on ipad
The mission of SHARE to serve those whose lives are touched
by the tragic death of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or newborn death. The
primary purpose is to provide support toward positive resolution of grief experienced at
the time of, or following the death of a baby. The secondary purpose of SHARE is to
provide information, education, and resources on the needs and rights of bereaved parents
and siblings. The objective is to aid those in the community, including family, friends,
employers, members of the congregation, caregivers and others in their supportive role. |
Contact the National SHARE Office: St. Joseph Health Center
300 First Capitol Drive, St. Charles, Missouri
Phone or
Fax |
|
| Also available is an Atlanta Based Share site at: www.shareatlanta.org |
|
A local Share support group meets at St. Peter’s
University Hospital in New Brunswick.
Call for more information Ext. 5214 |
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| Other Resources |
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| Below is a list of links relating to grief, death and
funeral service. If you find an interesting link or resource not listed here, please let
us know and we will update our list. |
|
| Center for Loss & Grief
Education and Publications |
| This site is run by Grief Educator and director of the
Center for Loss and Life Transition in Colorado, Alan Wolfelt Ph.D. His writings appear in
many nationwide publications and holds seminars on grief topics through out the country.
He is also one of the grief educators who are widely referred to in many mortuary schools.
His web-site is a "must see". |
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| Batesville Caskets |
| In addition to providing a quality casket with many options
for Sheenan families, they provide excellent support for the Sheenan Staff and render
excellent service and on-time delivery. |
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| NJ State Funeral Directors
Association |
| This site provides general information on funerals along
with a nice question and answer section. |
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| US Veterans Administration |
| Provides a wide variety of information for veterans. |
|
| American Association of
Retired Persons |
| A nationwide association of people, 50 and over providing
information, education and advocacy, on a wide variety of issues both local and
nationwide. |
|
| FTC Consumer Guide to
Funerals |
| The latest guide to funeral service made by the Federal
Trade Commission. |
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